Two Month Check-In
Disclaimer (mostly for me): the action did not start right away. I’m very much on this journey in real-time… so when it feels like slow progress - it’s just the speed of real life change. This post/update is intentionally not packaged neatly, “after the fact” and sold as a quick fix… personal pep talk over.
This little post is about the new things I’m doing, how I’m implementing this idea/philosophy and what’s happening along the way. What isn’t working, what I’m “failing” at, my version in more detail and the wins (+ mess) I’ve experienced over these past few weeks.
New things I’m excited about
Trying something new and being a vulnerable amateur is very anti-perfectionist (so naturally a huge fear of mine). To make time for personal development and to have some external accountability, I’ve joined a membership that my friend Laura just started. I’m biased, though not affiliated at all ~ it’s awesome so far!
It’s centered around EFT tapping - my science brain is in uncomfortable “woo-woo” territory - but it’s a great challenge for me. It’s encouraging me to be open to new things, change my beliefs about “woo-woo” and practice feeling the vulnerability that comes along with being a beginner.
My take-aways (that I can apply throughout my life):
Routine and structure that someone else is in charge of is just great. When it comes to learning something new - I just have to show up. I get to participate during the sessions, but once I’m there I can watch and listen as a participant; absorbing helpful lessons is truly just a bonus. Low effort / high reward - more likely for me to show up (despite my perfectionist mindset).
It’s a chance to meet like-minded people but also expose myself to new ideas and practices. I am challenged to be more open-minded, and get to question some of my beliefs. Questioning beliefs is a core component of shifting mindsets (like perfectionism) so it is a skill I always need more practice at!
What’s gone to SH*T!
Mindfulness routine. *the headspace notification gets ignored daily*
Solo TV watching. If you read my previous post about what I wanted to change, then you will recall that I needed a personal boundary around this. Solo TV consumption has become an indulgence once again.
There are solutions to both of these, lots of self-coaching, lessons… but I’m not going to spin it here. Instead I’m going to leave it as two failures that naturally have shame and guilt, that I’m confident I can change with time, but that’s not what I’m documenting today.
What I’m working on
Morning routine: I’ve been waking up earlier (yay!) have time to go to the gym in the morning (yay!) and have gone a few times (yay!) and have skipped many more (whoops- we’re working on it).
When I haven’t gone, I’ve had to work through letting go of guilt (as a motivator/punishment), recognizing that other needs became priority (sometimes comfort was that need), self-coached through the feelings and once asked for my partner to give me a “it’s okay” pep-talk because I didn’t have the capacity to coach myself.
Work-life balance: my ramp-up and wind-down routines are starting to be built, they are more effective some days over others. I’m documenting patterns, being curious and am truly “testing what works”.. When I find what works best for me, you bet I will share it, but in the mean-time I’m in experimentation mode over here.
Cleaning routines: I’ve combined it with my love of learning and personal growth (so I’m reading a book! TBD if it’s any good), but right now I’m working on prioritization of tasks and creating a “minimum version” that I can do when time, energy or life doesn’t allow a full routine. Remembering to ask myself what has worked before and how I can tweak it to this situation.
To add: a tweak that needs to be made
Self-care: it is subconsciously interwoven into this whole process but I’m going to bring it to the surface and make it a more dominant theme.
Something like “living my life, but not forgetting about self-care” is my new motto! Some of the aspects that I have in place that support this are: time off, relaxing evenings, exercise, yoga, mindfulness, fresh air, reading for pleasure, crafts/projects for fun, quality products/scents to enjoy…. So it’s all there, I just need to remind myself of its importance a little more regularly, and that self-care can look/be different each day, it’s the intention and feeling that matters most.
Lastly, it’s time to remind myself that realizations like this, the need to tweak the plan was always part of the process. Learning what needed to be tweaked was only possible because I made it this far, and you can’t know everything from the start. The ability to be flexible is very much required (no matter what perfectionism tries to tell me), it fits into the “courage” part of living my life because it activates the vulnerability we so often avoid. I’m on the right track.
