Step 2: The Answers

These are the answers (for me) to the questions that I posed in step 1.  I thought that sharing them would be a good exercise for me to flesh them out, but also to show as an example of what they could look like if you aren’t sure where to start. 

These answers are not rules for anyone else to follow, but simply a template that you can use to brainstorm your own answers.  Or if you are nosey like me, they are an insight into what’s going on for me, my own hurdles and my plan of attack, in real-time. 

First, I wanted to briefly reiterate what the 3 categories are.  I like to think of a house, the foundation (a most essential part) is the “must-do” tasks, you can’t do anything else without first making sure they are done. Next is the structure (the walls, roof etc.) which are the “hard but good to-do” tasks.  They are built on the foundation, and add value to your life, just like walls/roofs provide shelter.  They aren’t easy but they are good to do, and things you do truly want to do when you experience the outcome.  The foundation is a must for structure, then structure is something you build around you, keeps you safe, comfy, and allows you to do fun things in your house, the “pure joy/fun” tasks.

After adding tasks/items to each category, I am asking myself these 3 questions: 

1- How can I make each task/item on the list as enjoyable as possible? Specifically focusing on ease and fun. 

2- What boundaries do I need with others to protect “my life”?

3- What boundaries do I need with myself to ensure I’m living “my life”?

These questions are important because they get ahead of the inevitable perfectionist driven self sabotage.  Us perfectionists overcomplicate tasks (so that we can feel smarter when they are done) and believe we only deserve fun when we finish hard tasks (but are we ever done?).  So I like to consider how tasks can be simplified, made easier and fun, so the reward comes before I’m done.  

If you are a people pleaser (as most perfectionists are), we will also want to consider boundaries.  Boundaries with others are important, but boundaries with ourselves (commitments, personal rules, decisions we make ahead of time) are equally, if not more important for missions like this.  It’s easy to neglect ourselves, so getting ahead and deciding some firm boundaries is essential.

Below are my answers to these questions, if you are curious: read on.  My answers are going to be different than yours, but if you are also doing this exercise and don’t know where to start, I hope that reading my answers gives you an idea of what to do. 

MUST-DOs

• Work

  FUN + EASE

  Focus time/energy on tasks I enjoy the most.
  Consider how I go about challenging tasks to make them simpler and more fun.
  Solid routines before ~ start my day on the right foot.
  Unwinding rituals after ~ recharge.

  BOUNDARIES

  Work/life time boundaries, phone boundaries/access
  Manage thoughts outside of work hours, save thinking/problem solving for when I’m on the job.
  Intentionally leaving work behind when I clock out.

• Cleaning

  FUN + EASE

  Routines (repetitive, straight forward, knowing exactly what to do, when) same time every week.
  Listen to music, podcast, audiobook (entertainment multitasking).
  Prioritize, split up into steps, systemize (to reduce the overwhelm of lots to do), small tasks are easier.

  BOUNDARIES

  Specific times each day/week/month (so “anytime” isn’t an option).
  Decide on minimum commitment & stick to it (if short on time or energy, what do I always do), then consider it complete. Delegate to others (my partner) so we can share the workload.

• Eating

  FUN + EASE

  Planning ahead of time (weekly, before grocery shopping).
  Easy meals & snack options.

  BOUNDARIES

  Personal rule of eating 3 meals per day (no skipping).
  Delegating shopping/cooking so the workload is shared.

• Sleeping

  FUN + EASE

  Bedtime routine to keep it simple.
  Make my bedroom enjoyable/comfy.

  BOUNDARIES

  Practice good “sleep hygiene”.
  Communicate bedtime to others if it affects them.

• Bills

  FUN + EASE

  Monthly routine (once per month, specific order/list so I don’t miss one)
  Listen to a good playlist, brew a cup of tea to keep me company.
  Automate as many as possible.

  BOUNDARIES

  Personal: choose one day to do it all and stick with it
  Others: when people haven’t paid me back don’t nag them for money, instead leave it unpaid and consider for future loans.

• Personal Hygiene

  FUN + EASE

  Enjoyable scents, quality products.
  Electric toothbrush.

  BOUNDARIES

  Routine (day/time/order of tasks), prioritize, allow a minimum version for hectic days (no all or nothing here).

HARD BUT GOOD TO DOS

• Healthy Eating

  FUN + EASE

  Have go-to recipes that are easy & enjoyable.
  Try a new one for fun from time to time.
  Have healthy takeout options/freezer meals.

  BOUNDARIES

  Communicate to others that I want to eat healthy (so we can plan/cook to that desire)
  Personal: accept that a few unhealthy meals is okay (no all or nothing here).

• Exercise

  FUN + EASE

  Gym buddy for fun.
  Paid membership for accountability/ease.
  Group fitness classes (because that’s what's easy/fun for me).

  BOUNDARIES

  Routine: decide when works best for me to go, and when the time comes, actually go.
  Schedule other life tasks around this commitment.

• Personal Growth

  FUN + EASE

  Keep it simple (don’t need to do it all).
  Find things that resonate (instead of doing what I think I “should” do)
  Read a book (because that’s what’s easy/fun for me)

  BOUNDARIES

  Decide why it matters to me & commit to that mission.
  Dedicate time daily, weekly, monthly (when I want to be consistent).

• Morning Routine

  FUN + EASE

  Enjoyable activities balance with other tasks.
  Have a few versions to choose from depending on the day/time.
  Repetitive (the routine aspect!) so it’s easy to do.

  BOUNDARIES

  Express my needs to others for my morning routine to be successful (time, space, their help).
  Commit to it (time per day, and for at least 1 month) before assessing it.

• Mindfulness Practice

  FUN + EASE

  Meditation app, yoga class at gym, Youtube yoga.
  Journaling in a comfy/cozy space.
  Lean into it being fun to learn new things.

  BOUNDARIES

  Permission to be inconsistent (no all or nothing here)
  Communicating to others my intentions and the space I need to stick to them.

PURE JOY/FUN

• WATCHING TV/MOVIES

  (with my partner)

  FUN + EASE

  Running list of “to watch”.
  Dedicate time to watch together (i.e. weekly movie night).

  BOUNDARIES

  Less alone TV consumption (just a personal rule based on my own behaviours in the past).

• fresh air, sunshine & nature time

  FUN + EASE

  Plan hikes (and pre-book if possible) on the weekends/days off.
  Get outside when I notice the weather is nice.

  BOUNDARIES

  Prioritize in my life/schedule.
  Personal rules around number of times per week to get outside.
  Schedule other tasks around this commitment.

• crafts & creative activities

  FUN + EASE

  Running list of things to work on, inspirations ~ leave somewhere visible.
  Dedicated space for creative activities.
  Engage in inspiration (online, in person, with others).

  BOUNDARIES

  Make time for it.
  Create physical space at home.

• Reading

  FUN + EASE

  Enjoyable book (and ditch ones I’m not enjoying).
  Audiobooks (format for ease).

  BOUNDARIES

  Make time, communicate to others time (aka: leave me alone time).

• adventure, vacation & day trips

  FUN + EASE

  Brainstorm/dream.
  Research/plan.
  Execute/go and do.

  BOUNDARIES

  Book time off in advance
  Dedicate time to plan.

Now this brainstorm can be turned into action - not all at once - but one by one.  These notes are something I can fall back on and look at when I feel stuck.  I can try until I find a fun/ease strategy that works. I can practice setting the boundaries to make these things happen and I can tweak along the way as I learn, grow and change my life.