The How: Tracking & Planning
Heads up if you are looking for a revolutionary planning technique that solves all perfectionism, this is not it. It doesn’t exist, so don’t buy into it just because it looks shiny. This section isn’t about a specific system but about the mindset we approach planning systems with. Sure there are systems that work better than others (aka make the mindset work easier) and I will happily share those, but know that they are only helpful, not a quick fix for perfectionism.
Avoiding Negativity Bias
All of us naturally give more substance to negative things than positive, even if they are equally balanced in theory. We tend to disregard the positive and focus on the negative, especially us perfectionists. This means that when we do or don’t follow through on plans, we focus on the times we didn’t do something and don’t credit ourselves for the times we did follow through.
A solution: only track when you do it. Don’t use a system where you “check” when you do it and “x” when you don’t. Don’t have the task written every day on a calendar so you have to scratch out/try to erase when you have failed to follow through. Do have a blank calendar and write down when you do it, after you’ve done it, so you keep a record of all that you have done.
Practice pride: look at when you did it, be proud of yourself for the fact that you have written something on that calendar and focus on all that you did do (it’s not self indulgent, it’s just balancing out the natural negativity bias that is probably still kicking around).
Don’t even consider the blank days (aka when you didn’t do it), that’s something to address another time when you are in a reflective headspace and when you have the capacity to address the patterns with clarity and compassion. Today we are just tracking and celebrating!
Focus on “more often than not”, rather than executing plans perfectly. If you plan to do something every day in a week but only did it 4 days, then that is a success (4/7 days = more often than not). Give yourself credit. Focus on the 4 days, not the 3 that you missed.
Allow yourself to be a work in progress and don’t let this tracking data be a tool to beat yourself up. Let it be an encouragement tool only, then you will be able to use it to your advantage. Tracking without considering your perfectionist mindset is an almost guaranteed failure. Tracking considering this mindset (and working around it) has the potential to be successful, let it be!
Specific Planning Strategies
When it comes to perfectionism the urge is often there to latch onto what works for someone else without considering yourself. If it helps to follow my process step by step, go for it… but with time remember to consider yourself and what works for you. It’s okay to deviate from the “right” way to do things, change the system over time and take bits and pieces of advice, tailoring them to your unique life. There is no planning police.
Physical vs. Digital Planners
There are times when I’ve done both.. currently I have a paper planner, because it’s working. I don’t have a strong opinion, nor feel the need to tell you to use one exclusively, but here are the pros/cons for perfectionists:
Changing plans is messy with physical planners: if we don’t like the appearance of crossed out/altered plans, digital planners are much easier to drag plans around, change descriptions, delete entirely. They tend to be cleaner and look more polished (though mindset work can be done to overcome these beliefs). If you are struggling with the “look” of your plans, a digital planner can help you get past that hurdle right now.
Digital planners can invoke an “out of sight, out of mind” experience which for me can mean I forget to use it. While there are apps and ways to easily connect devices and set reminders, I find having my physical planner left out, in sight is easier to reference and refer to, I see it more in passing and check in. Plus pen and paper just works better for me, is easier to jot down quickly and requires less organizing of events/time slots in an app ~ what colour to choose!
But this is just an example of what works for me, and has come out of lots of experimenting (and failing along the way). I’ve had success with digital planners at other times, and will likely have use for them again. There isn’t a one-system fits all answer here.
Flexibility and Downtime
Perfectionists tend to be rigid, driven by “all or nothing” thinking, and have unrealistically high expectations for ourselves. If we can anticipate these tendencies, create flexibility with our plans (ahead of time and in the moment) we will find it much easier to follow through on them. Giving ourselves plenty of time, buffer time and alternative plans is setting ourselves up for success. There is nothing wrong with us for needing to have these added in, even if it isn’t part of a traditional planning method.
Being able to pivot, and be flexible in the moment is choosing to focus on “middle ground” (not ALL or NOTHING extremes) and will mean something gets accomplished. There might be feelings/beliefs around flexibility and imperfection but those can be addressed, if we just give ourselves the flexibility in the first place.
More downtime is always a good idea. Downtime can be scheduled/planned just like appointments and without needing to accomplish big goals first ~ us perfectionists are deserving of time off, even if we feel like undeserving failures (especially when we feel this way).
Proactively Plan
Plan for our lives right now, anticipate problems/struggles if possible, don’t plan too far out (maybe start with one week at a time), and manage our expectations. Make sure there is a good chance you can achieve what you plan to do. Push ourselves one step outside of our comfort zone/current routine… don’t expect ourselves to excel to “100” right off the bat. Perfect planning is NOT another thing we need to achieve to boost your self-worth.
Most importantly, don’t spend too much time planning (and thus avoiding taking action). Devoting lots of time to a perfect schedule doesn’t make it easier/solve all our problems. This is perfectionist driven avoidance. It’s better to make a schedule/plan that is a work in progress, track our successes, pivot and be flexible in the moment when needed, learn from what works and tweak it for next week. Resist the temptation to master planning right now.
Mindset Reminders for Long-term Success:
Guilt and shame don’t create long-term motivation.
Celebrate and focus on successes (and obstacles we overcome).
Track and acknowledge what you DID do (let it inspire you).
Plan kindly, manage expectations, get ahead of the tendency to schedule too much.
Aim for more often than not, extra is a BONUS, achieving 100% of the plan is awesome but technically just as ‘good’ as achieving 51% of the plan.
Find a system that works for you and change it if/when needed.
Let go of the idea of a “right” system.
Let go of what we “should” do. (aka what we are told to do, sometimes subconsciously)
Experiment until you find your system + remember you can tweak it as needed.
Having guidelines and a place to start is great - but if it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it just because some planning expert told you to.
Remember successful planning and tracking for perfectionists is less about the specific system and more about the mindset we bring to the system we choose. The mindset behind, between and when using the systems is where success lies.
